Hello and good morning (night because I’m about to fall asleep from academic burnout) to my dearest readers,

I’m here to present to you…

Drumroll, please…

An unhinged song from the recesses of my fried braincells!

An ode to our wonderful education system and the joy it brings me to be a student!

And of course, a list of things I forget to do while studying myself!!!

So, without further ado…

Let’s begin!

Step one: romanticise the grind

Light a candle (or stumble around the house trying to find one, give up, and squint at the lightbulb glaring down at you from the ceiling instead).

Play lo-fi beats (or yell along with TXT). Open your book.

I’d better not see you on a phone. You sneaky crook.

Step two: write a to-do list.

Colour-coded. Super neat. The apple of your eye.

Only task you finish is

“Make a to-do list”.

Step three: study method time!

Pomodoro? Mind maps? Flashcards? Sure!

But first, you need a snack,

And then, the snack needs a snack.

And so on.

Step four: cry a little

Step five: google how to study and watch motivational videos while failing to be motivated

Step six: scream internally but not externally or you’ll get something thrown at you

Step seven: rewatch another motivational video

Step eight: stare at the wall

Deeply. Existentially. Contemplate your 50,000 years of life.

Maybe the answers lie in the paint.

Step nine: convince yourself

One paragraph. One question.

Focus? Five minutes of victory!

You’ve earned a two-hour break.

Some bonus tips:

• Highlighters make you feel powerful
• Study groups- 80% yap, 20% pretending to understand
• Don’t study in bed
• If you don’t know the answers, pull out vague, complicated vocabulary and hope the teacher thinks it’s insightful, intelligent and interestingly deep

Step ten: get yourself back up

Tell yourself it’ll be worth it when you’re rich and famous in the end,

You’ve got snacks, a working pen, your big, buff brain,

You’re surviving.

You’re learning.

You can do it.

Burnout isn’t failure. Sometimes, you need a snack, a nap, or a dramatic playlist to cry to. Maybe all three and more.

But you’ve got this.

Signing off…